Have you ever been compelled to do something out of your comfort zone before? I am willing to bet most people have. There's more than a few examples I can think of right now that would help you visualize some situations. One I'm particularly fond of using would be the menu at a restaurant. Say you're sitting there with a group of friends and you're all going over the menu options, no one's particularly picky but everyone is leaning towards the same dish. The problem here is that, your gut is telling you that you want something else. This isn't a thought you're having, in fact the thoughts you're having are telling you to just go along with what everyone else is saying - but, that's not what you want. You're gravitating towards something on the oppositie side of the menu. You're hearing one thing, but your eyes are taking you elsewhere. What do you do? The right decision you seem to already know, so what's the external influence there for? I wanted to share my opinion on this subject of "belief" in efforts to help someone out there that could really use a perspective shift on following their respective truth.
I often times find myself looking into the mirror after I wash my face but not for the reasons you'd think. I don't care about the scars, bumps and bruises. I don't look for blemishes or wrinkles. More often than not, I'm staring into my own eyes and wondering if the choices I make are mine and are made from a place of belief, braveness and balance. There's been many times in my younger days where I've had this exact scenario play out and I knew that I was doing things wrong. My facial expression would change vastly within a matter of seconds as if you were pounding a blob of playdoh into some shape or design except this wasn't a masterpiece being worked in the slightest, it was a never-ending rotation of confusion, shame and a lot of guilt. It's tough to accept when you're in the wrong and doing things that don't hold any merit in the values that you wish you had or even worse, know that you already have and you can't even meet them. How could you expect others to resonate with you and what you bring to the table, when you don't even resonate with yourself and what you're bringing to the table?
A complete breakdown would often ensue. This was important. This was okay. This actually helped me more than I originally thought looking back because it allowed me to peel away the layers of what I thought to be the right way to live until I found the way I should actually be living. I could slap my face with water as much as I wanted, pull and press on my cheeks, shave my beard or let it grow, but the changes weren't coming from the surface, so why would I keep trying to force myself into thinking they were? There was no point. These changes came deep within myself, I had to start believing in what I was doing, what I wanted to do and what I was going to inevitably do. Regardless of what I was told, what I was shown and what was expected of me, I made sure that I had my own standards and my own understanding by making small incremental changes first. From there, I started to feel better. When you're believing others over yourself in relation to how you live your life, you're not living your life. They are. Inner belief is where it starts - for everyone.
There's pressure all around us from a very young age. This holds true in relation to family, friends, peers, business associates and even strangers. People you've never met before can have the best influence on the way you feel, or the absolute worst. Everyone's a critic. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. All of this is allowed. The reason for it, I have found, is because we aren't meant to hold onto those opinions and falsified restrictions that we've imposed on ourselves for long. I consider these to be "falsified" because, they don't actually hold merit if you just trust your gut and what you have to offer as an individual. Once you understand who you are and have the belief in what you do, what you have and what you can provide, as you are - the only true restrictions are the ones that you give yourself.
People can pick, prod, push and poke as much as they want but you're stronger now, much more than before - because you did the work. You looked at what was hard to, you understood the deeper layers of yourself to figure out whatever it was that held you back in the first place, or in some instances, made you feel less than. In most situations from there on, you'll find yourself making decisions that not only benefit you from a higher place, whether that's just emotionally, mentally, spiritually or even monetary, but you'll do better for those around you too. It's contagious to be around someone who gives a sh*t about themselves. It causes others to do the same. It creates a healthy environment at some point regardless of the initial shake up and tearing down of the toxic one that you found yourself engulfed in prior to. I've been there in some dire situations in my lifetime and I've been there in some trivial ones. That means nothing to me now and it shouldn't mean too much to you, because what difference does it make as to what the situation is, if the feeling is the same? We don't and can't pretend to know what other people are consistenly going through, but we will always be able to feel what they feel and resonate with that. That may be a downfall to some in the context of being human, but I think it's an enormous win. The external influences around us may try to shape us, but it's important to remember that we, as individuals are the ones who make us.
The belief you nurture within yourself will start small. If you feed it, take care of it and let it breathe, I can promise you that it will grow. Similar to planting a seed for whatever flower or plant of your choosing, your job with that is far from over. You will need to continously monitor and care for it, just as you would with the belief in yourself and what you can do not only for you, but everyone else. If this analogy resonates with you fantastic, if it doesn't - here's one that's more extreme, you bought a puppy. Is that it? You have a puppy? No, you have pretty much just adopted a child and you're going to take care of it now for the rest of it's life to the absolute best to your ability. It does not matter what other people say, it does not matter what other people do, it does not matter what other people want. You have a living creature to care for and ensure it has the best quality of life possible. So, why would this be any different for yourself? It wouldn't be, it shouldn't be and it simply cannot be. I'm imploring others to take a look at what their heart tells them and follow that. In a crowd of 1's and 2's be a 3, hell, be an 8 if that's what your heart tells you - it's just important to nurture that belief along the way, from start to finish, because I can promise you that no one else will. No one is more responsible for trusting your gut and inner knowing, more than you are. You'll be surprised at who thanks you for doing so.
Sincerely,
Al
P.S. - That person who thanks you, is you.