The idea of freewill has always been fascinating for me. There's many reasons for that but one in particular is that you never know where you'll end up because of the choices and directions you've chosen to take. Imagine yourself driving down a road but there isn't just two or three different paths you could drive down, instead you've come to realize that once you've decided on a specific route, a few minutes down the line that path will also diverge into multiple pathways and before you know it, you're surrounded by mountains, or the coastline or an unfamiliar neighbourhood in the middle of the night. You wanted to get to your destination by a specific time but instead of going one way, you went the other. Now, it's possible that decision you made could coincide with your goal in reaching your destination, or it could go completely against it and take you downright nowhere in no time. Freewill has it's perks but it's also got it's fairshare of downsides. So, where can it take you?
From my experiences in life there are two main places you can end up with the decicisions that you make. There is a third and that would be stagnation. At this time, I'm not entirely convinced that staying in one spot is a compelling enough story to speak on today, so I'll save that for another time.
One way you can go, is up. The thrill you feel when venturing into the unknown is unlike anything else. It's one of the most vulnerable things you can do as a human being - to have the ability to say you will try to make your way through an uncharted territory is a very valiant notion, but to actually be able to take that desire and turn it into a calculated and constructed decision is remarkable. There are times where you'll receive these tingles in your feet if it falls in the realm of the physical, or butterflies fluttering within the walls of your stomach if it's involving a tangible action that doesn't require you to have much mechanical energy output, or even a barrage of thoughts - one after the other, bouncing around in your brain like a pinball, changing with each impact, sometimes evolving into a bigger thought or a new one with no relation to the other altogether. If you've really gone for broke, you may receive all three. That in itself should give you the confirmation you need in knowing you've done something completely out of your norm. The best thing that could happen to you here is the chance you took, the opportunity you chose to grab leads you to a brand new level of energy, elation or earnings - this could come in many different forms but the premise is the same; Higher heights.
The other way you can go, is down. The sinking, seething, more often times than not self-loathing breeding ground of angst and agony. There's no thrill there, unless there's masochistic tendencies scattered throughout your psyche/personality in which, you tend to enjoy the fall, whether that be on a large or minuscule scale makes no difference. You feel pain and you like it too. I can't relate to that too much. I resent defeat and the idea of losing more than anything else. Find me someone who doesn't like winning, that's tough, but I can't speak on the same sentiment in reverse because some people really don't mind losing or failure. That to me, is a problem - it's your life here and you only get one. Now, your decisions can lead you in many directions and you can choose to make bad ones, but to reach the end and say that's it for me and actually enjoy that or worse, not even care, I can't endorse. In a lot of ways, I'm jealous of those who can but the way I see it is something like this... You can lose and learn, in fact you should be able to. Navigating your life isn't meant to be easy, but to say you're okay with staying on the wrong course or making the wrong decisions shouldn't be accepted. You should emphasize on doing what triggers growth, you should embrace whatever hardship life puts before your path and you should be envigorated by the idea of trying to conquer it so that you can get to your destination. It's okay if you do lose, to make the wrong turn, chose the wrong path, but it's never been okay in my world to accept the fact that things have to be that way. Nothing worth having in this world ever came from that, nothing. However, I do have to mention that alternatively to putting forth your best effort again, sometimes you just can't. You've gone too far off the path, you've crashed, you've bobbed when you should've weaved, you pushed when you should have pulled or you barked and now you're about to be bit. You can blame others, you can blame yourself or put the blame wherever you feel it fits, but at the end of the day, it's unfortunately that, the end of the day - or journey; Deeper depths.
Freewill decisions can lead you to many things, from the sky being the limit to the undoubtable end. I believe wholeheartedly that it's fair to say I've been close in my lifetime to both, yet I feel as if I haven't managed to solidify either. That's a bit of a paradigm shift I'm trying to currently accept and think it could help a lot of people in deciding where they stand and where they too, could go. It's not necessarily the end until it is and best believe you'll know when that is. It's not necessarily the limit because there isn't one. The decisions you make and will continuously make throughout the course of your life should and will continue to help you grow and elevate in many different ways. Just be sure that when the time comes to make those decisions, that you're making the right ones. Everything could change in an instant; For better or for worse. The choice was and always will be yours. Your life is on you.
Sincerely,
Al