I felt today that the concept of trust was a very important topic to speak on. Why? Simply, because it's a fundamental part of any healthy relationship - In so many ways, it is the relationship - whether it's between family, friends, business partners/associates, lovers and the like. There's no way to get around this foundation when you're in the process of building something worth holding onto whether it's short-term or long-term. Ideally, the length means next to nothing - it's more so the core of what will shape what's to be expected, what's acceptable and what should be constant from the entire duration of the relationship. Even more on that note, it's what you can hope to still be there if you were to ever return to a prior situation, agreement or more. There's a strong bond that's solidified when trust is built adequately. You can depend on it and feel secure in the notion that although the world around you is constantly changing and adapting to the circumstances that consistently and continuously arise, that foundation is strong and will still be there the way it should be. This is perfect. It's not easy to come by and it's not necessarily earned easily, but it's worth it. Alternatively and to the misfortune of everyone, you can bet it's something that can dissipate faster than you can blink and snap both of your fingers.
Have you ever been shown a movie trailer or read the blurb on the back of a book? In most situations you have and here's why that's important - You're getting a feel for something, a special insight, a preview as to what you can expect. In more simplified context, you're receiving a generalized promise as to what your money will be exchanged for. In this situation, you will receive an incredible show of triumph and/or testimony or maybe a piece of literature that will grant you wisdom and/or willpower. In the best possible scenario, you receive exactly what you were promised. Now, are you likely to go back to that said source again in the future once the duration of that exchange has completed? The movie is over, the book has been read. I'd lean towards the idea that yes, you probably would. Now, take this and apply it to the relationships around you. Everything changes. Things are a bit more serious - you're not just bargaining an exchange with twenty bucks, you're bargaining with your life, your time and effort - all of which, you most certainly cannot get back once they've been spent. This exchange comes at a higher price,
but has a higher value in your life once you receive a return on your investment - especially when it comes to relationships. You can build with these connections in the form of business, companionship and even love. Tell me what's better than taking a chance on something with commodities you know you can't earn or replace and walking away feeling richer emotionally, mentally and in some instances, materialistcally - although, the last holds little merit in my world, it still applies to everyone and a lot of different things. Does this idea of trust come easy after taking in this sort of perspective? No, it most certainly does not.
Now, you're in the same situation as I've previously mentioned - you're shown a movie trailer or the blurb off of the back of a book. You've got your hopes up, maybe even a little too much, but that's okay because you're excited. You're allowed to feel this way. It's what you've been seemingly looking for and you let out a deep sigh of relief when you finally feel as if you've found it. Overtime, the hype begins to formulate. It's gaining traction, it's growing, it's a blackhole - sucking you in and captivating your attention in every aspect and this could be through society - the communities around you, or just by your own doing, it's in your head but that doesn't downplay the importance, because it's for you and it matters. The exchange is made. You sit down, popcorn in hand or reading glasses pressed lightly to your face and it begins. At first you feel the butterflies, the fluttering within your stomach - but then it begins to change, slowly but at a constant. The butterflies turn into frenzied monkies, hopping around within you - kicking and screaming, turning the acute anticipation of elation of what you thought you were getting into the startling, screeching trainwreck of a stomach ache with the acid gurgling and rising back up to your mouth until finally reaching it's peak - which is a full-blown projectile vomit on whatever piece of furniture of unfortunate person seated in front of you. What the f*ck. You're disheartened, disgusted and disgruntled. Maybe even a little confused as to what just happened. You not only didn't get what you signed up for, you actually walk away with less than what you originally came in with - but, hey - it's a lesson learned and no one can take that away from you. Plus, it was just twenty bucks. But, here's the kicker and it's a big one, take this same scenario and apply this one to the relationships around you. How likely are you to go back to that situation, relationship or even person for so much as a conversation again? Yeah, I'd have to lean towards the probable answer that you wouldn't. Sometimes the damage is so clean cut and irreversible - it's not even a misunderstanding. Whereas certain things can be rectified and then resurrected, sometimes the opposite holds dominant. Unfortunately, with that being fully understood, the trust that may have been established - the very foundation in which the situation, circumstance or relationship was built on, can easily go.
It's not right to treat trust in relationships with the idea that it's a simple transaction. We're people and more complex than a piece of paper or a card that we can simply hand over or tap onto some machine. We have feelings, thoughts and offer uniquely what is ours and ours only, as individuals. I'm simply trying to paint a picture in which I hope that everyone can understand the importance of what trust is and how it works in our day to day lives, from business relationships to personal ones. It's something that can take years to earn, but can be lost in a matter of seconds due to the actions we choose to take. Transparency goes a long way in building trust and in every situation we're faced with, I personally believe just being who you are, how you are and proud of that will establish trust better than any gimmick you try to portray to everyone around you but more importantly, yourself. So, if you were to sit me down and ask me about trust, I'd simply tell you, "Easy come? No, easy go.".
Sincerely,
Al